Today I am.
This pandemic, 2020 in general – it’s really impacted the mental health of a lot of humans in a harsh way, yours truly included.
The stigma of mental health, of anxiety (ding ding!!) looms heavily even now when I mention it. Visibly uncomfortable, they try to change the subject or flip it back around, like “noooo you’re fine.”
People are so shocked when I tell them I struggle with anxiety, like “really you’re so sunny! You’re so bright and positive and happy!”
Yeah, well, not all the time. There are days I don’t feel like doing anything because I don’t know if there WILL be a world for me, or what in the world my future will be. ALL of my plans centered around traveling internationally, and that’s well… not happening.
They say acceptance comes easy with recognition, but it’s taken me such a long time to accept that my plans – my life of travel and adventure in foreign countries… that’s just not in the cards for me right now.
And that’s okay, for now I simply need to make new plans.
“Simply,” i wish it was. I’m working on it.
But it is also absolutely okay to still feel sad about the endings, the process of letting go of a life unable to be lived currently.
My feelings are valid, and I felt alone.
Your feelings are valid, and you are not alone.
If anyone needs me, I’ll be over here dressing up with no where to go, taking photos just to remind myself I am a photographer… that I am, well, something.
I’ll be here with a welcoming virtual air-hug for anyone that needs it. I am with you.
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#beauthentic #mentalhealthawareness #wearenotokay
